Adrian Chiles headlines are the distinctive, often deadpan titles attached to the weekly Guardian column written by the British broadcaster and former television presenter. They are celebrated, and occasionally mocked, for applying a tone of grand outrage or philosophical inquiry to subjects as small as zippers, soap dispensers, and glasses that slide down the nose. The headlines have built a cult following around Chiles, a 59-year-old who previously fronted shows including The One Show and Match of the Day 2 before becoming one of the Guardian’s most discussed columnists.
The Mechanics of a Chiles Headline
The column runs weekly, typically filed on a Wednesday for Thursday publication, and Chiles has said the ideas often emerge from “sheer desperation”. That pressure produces a recognizable formula. A mundane domestic irritation becomes the entry point. A slightly heightened, almost theatrical register follows. The result reads less like a traditional opinion headline and more like a miniature comic monologue compressed into a single line.
A representative example from October 2025 reads: “I know I should stop writing about zips. But I’ve just suffered another outrage”. The subject is a suitcase that would not close. The language is that of a public scandal. The gap between the two is the joke, and it is also the appeal. Another headline, from the same series, asks: “At the age of 58, I’ve bought my first drill. Can it make me a new man?”. Here the trivial purchase is framed as an existential turning point, which is both absurd and oddly sincere.
Why the Headlines Resonate
Chiles does not write the headlines himself, or at least not the final versions. In interviews with GQ and Slate, he has credited Guardian editors with a “particular science” of headline writing that he does not fully understand. He has admitted that his own instincts tend toward the “clever-clever,” while the published headlines tend to be simpler and more direct. That division of labor matters. The headlines are a collaborative product, shaped by professional editors who know how to make a reader click without making them feel tricked.
The critical reception has been genuinely split. The Wall Street Journal, quoted in promotional materials for the 2024 collection The Curious Columns of Adrian Chiles, called him “Britain’s leading chronicler of minutiae in this age of hot takes and edgelord opinions”. GQ described the column as “a delightful respite from the daily cesspool of news”. Slate’s Imogen West-Knights went further, calling him “the nation’s only truly good columnist”. These are not neutral observations. They are endorsements from outlets that share Chiles’s general cultural register.
The Dissenting View
Not everyone is persuaded. The Critic published a sharply skeptical review of the 2024 collection, arguing that the columns are “about nothing” and that the prose is often “unimaginative and cliché-ridden”. The review also raised the fact that Chiles is married to Katharine Viner, the Guardian’s editor-in-chief, though it acknowledged that Chiles was commissioned to write the column before their relationship began and that his pieces likely drive significant traffic. That caveat is important. The nepotism question is raised, but the review itself does not treat it as a settled explanation for the column’s existence.
Chiles has addressed the personal dimension in his own way. In a Slate interview, he noted that he met Viner after she read a column he wrote about the difficulty of bending over as one gets older. “I got a wife out of it,” he said. The anecdote is characteristic: self-deprecating, slightly absurd, and grounded in the ordinary physical realities of middle age.
What the Headlines Actually Reveal
The deeper interest of Adrian Chiles headlines lies in what they ask readers to notice. A column about a pub toilet queue becomes a sobering reflection on what women tolerate. A piece about dog poo becomes an inquiry into how social attitudes change. A meditation on the absence of pleasant-smelling verbs in English turns into a small comparative linguistics lesson involving Welsh and Croatian. The headlines promise trivia. The columns often deliver something slightly more thoughtful, even if the delivery is wrapped in a joke about zippers.
This is why comparisons to other columnists tend to miss the point. Chiles is not trying to out-argue anyone. He is not producing hot takes. The headlines work because they signal a different contract with the reader: spend three minutes on something small, and you may come away noticing something you had not noticed before. Whether that constitutes “the nation’s only truly good columnist” is a matter of taste. But the headlines themselves are undeniably effective at making the trivial feel worth a second look.
Who writes the Adrian Chiles headlines?
The headlines are attached to the weekly Guardian column written by Adrian Chiles, but Chiles himself has said he does not write the final versions. In interviews, he credited Guardian editors with a “particular science” of headline writing that he does not fully understand, admitting his own instincts tend toward the “clever-clever” while the published headlines are simpler and more direct .
What kinds of subjects do the headlines cover?
The headlines focus on everyday domestic irritations and small observations. Verified examples include a broken suitcase zipper (“I know I should stop writing about zips. But I’ve just suffered another outrage”), glasses sliding down the nose (“We can go to the moon – so why can’t we stop my glasses sliding down my nose?”), and buying a first drill at age 58 . The Guardian’s own series description confirms the column covers topics like favorite spoons and the correct duration of a hug .
Is there a book collecting these columns?
Yes. The Curious Columns of Adrian Chiles was published by Profile Books on 10 October 2024. The 288-page collection gathers columns on subjects ranging from a legendary at-home urinal to discovering a naked doppelganger on OnlyFans. The book’s promotional materials quote Slate’s Imogen West-Knights calling Chiles “the nation’s only truly good columnist” .
Why do some readers find the headlines funny?
The humor comes from the contrast between the grand, outraged tone of the headline and the triviality of the subject. Chiles himself has described the columns as “sort of about nothing” and suggested that declarations calling him “the greatest writer in the English language” are either “a complete piss take or lightly ironic” . The Wall Street Journal called him “Britain’s leading chronicler of minutiae in this age of hot takes and edgelord opinions” .
Does Adrian Chiles have a background in television?
Yes, extensively. Before and alongside his Guardian column, Chiles fronted ITV’s football coverage, co-presented Daybreak with Christine Bleakley in 2010 and 2011, and launched BBC shows including The One Show, Match of the Day 2, and The Apprentice: You’re Fired. He has also presented on BBC Radio 5 Live . His transition from television presenter to cult columnist is part of what Slate described as his unusual trajectory .
